This is an actual conversation I had on the phone today at work:

Me: [Energetic, peppy] Thanks for calling The Gap at Preston and Royal. This is Logan. How may I help you?

Crazed Woman: [With confused and bewildered tone, breathing quickly] YES! You callllled me!? Who is this?

Me: [Calmly, but somewhat confused] This is The Gap on Preston and Royal.

Crazed Woman: [Even more confused] GAP? How do you spell that?

Me: [Trying to contain my laughter] G-A-P.

Crazed Woman: [Interested like it’s some matter of national security] Now, what kind of store is this?

Me: It’s a retail store, ma’am.

Crazed Woman: [Like she just figured out that the moon isn’t made of cheese] Retail? What exactly do you sell?

Me: We sell men’s and women’s clothes, ma’am. Is there anything I can help you with?

Crazed Woman: No! You’ve done quite enough, thank you! [Click]

Sometimes I wonder how those kinds of people survive on a day-to-day basis.